


Men Will be Men

by kiss_me_cassie



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-01
Updated: 2003-04-01
Packaged: 2019-05-15 12:45:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14790764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiss_me_cassie/pseuds/kiss_me_cassie
Summary: The men in Donna's life bond.





	1. Men Will be Men

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Disclaimer(s):** Not mine. Never mine, no matter how hard I wish. Donna and the guys belong to Aaron Sorkin. And the bar belongs to someone else, too. I'm sure you'll figure out who. *g*  
 **Summary:** The men in Donna's life bond.  
 **Spoiler:** Up through Process Stories  
 **Author's Note:** Thanks to all the people who pushed for me to get this *finished,* but especially to Sharon. And to Julia for the look-over.  
 **Feedback:** Better than an ice cold beer

\-----

He needed a drink. More importantly, he needed some peace and quiet and anonymity while he drowned his crappy day in some liquor. He'd been traded back to the House Oversight Committee. Realistically, he knew it was a lateral move and not a demotion, but he felt that he was being penalized by his party for being friendly towards certain members of the current White House staff.  

Which is why, when he walked into the small, smoky bar and saw Josh Lyman seated on a stool at the near end, he almost left. Of all the places Cliff might have run into him, he was surprised that it was here. Because of this bars location, it was unlikely that any Bartlet staffer would normally show up here. 

He briefly contemplated leaving, but after the day he'd had, he simply didn't feel like finding another bar, so he compromised by taking an empty seat a few stools away and grudgingly greeted the man. "Lyman." 

Josh looked up in surprise at the sound of his name and struggled to focus his bleary eyes on the speaker. Then he recognized Cliff. "Calley," he sneered before looking back into his beer mug. 

Turning away from the Deputy Chief of Staff, Cliff ordered a scotch. He sat and nursed it, occasionally popping a shelled peanut into his mouth, while surreptitiously watching Josh. He didn't know how long Josh had been there, but he was frowning and muttering into his beer and appeared to be well on his way to getting drunk. 

Curiosity got the better of him and he motioned the bartender over. "How many has that guy had?" 

"Him?" the bartender asked with a nod toward Josh. 

"Yeah." 

"He's on his third. Why? He a friend of yours?"                    "Not exactly," Cliff hedged. 

The bartender grunted. "Well, third beer or not, he's pretty drunk. You want to take him home?" 

Cliff thought about it a moment. Did he really want to get involved in whatever was causing Josh to get drunk by himself? They weren't exactly friends. In fact, they were closer to being enemies. And it was situations exactly like this that had gotten him traded back to Oversights. On the other hand, the man obviously needed some help. Never one to turn his back on a fellow man in need, he turned to the bartender and told him, "Give me a minute."  

He got up and walked over to where Josh was sitting, his head hanging close to the bar. He placed a hand on the man's shoulder to get his attention. "Josh, you need to go home. Let the bartender call you a cab." 

Josh jerked his arm away and slurred, "'S not your concern."  

"You're like the third most powerful man in Washington. As a citizen, I'd say it is my concern," Cliff argued good-naturedly. "C'mon. It's time to leave." 

"She left me once. For him." 

Cliff wasn't quite sure where this sudden announcement was coming from, but he played along regardless. "O-kay." 

"For Free- Free- Freeride. Not goin'. Need more beer." 

"Fine," he acquiesced. "But can we at least move you to a table? You're going to fall off that barstool any minute." 

"'Kay," he agreed somewhat amiably as he stumbled to his feet. He swayed for a moment and then suddenly listed sharply to the right. If Cliff hadn't been there to catch him, he would have slid directly to the floor. 

Staggering under Josh's drunken weight, Cliff gestured to the guy at the other end of the bar. "Can you help me here?" 

The naval officer looked up from his drink and ambled over to the pair. Grabbing Josh's free arm, he helped Cliff to maneuver him towards a group of tables clustered at the back. "Friend of yours?" 

"You're the second person to ask that," he grumbled. "No, not exactly." 

"He's Josh Lyman, right? Deputy to Leo McGarry?" 

"Left. She left, but she came back," Josh mumbled, completely oblivious to the conversation. 

"Yeah," Cliff answered the stranger. To Josh he replied, "She's going to be pissed if you fall down and hurt yourself." He tugged a little harder at Josh's arm. "Let's move, Lyman." 

"Be pissed anyways," Josh muttered. "Says I have a sens- sens'tive system. She's right. She's *always* right." He looked conspiratorially at Cliff. "But Ssshh! Don't tell her that," he commanded in a stage whisper. 

"It'll be our little secret," Cliff assured him. 

"Who's this `she' he's mentioning? His wife?" the officer asked. 

"I think he's talking about his assistant, Donna Moss." 

"Donna Moss?" Jack asked, frowning. "Tall, blond, incredible blue eyes? I've met her. She's cute." 

"Yeah, she is," Cliff murmured.

Jack caught the odd tone in his voice and asked, "Are you and she a thing?" 

"Me and Donna? Nah. Once upon a long time ago, we had a date or two, but it never really amounted to much. My name is Cliff, by the way," he offered as an introduction. 

"Good to meet you. I'm -" 

"Not yours! Mine. My Donna. Mine, mine, mine," Josh declared. "`Cept she's not. Met a Navy man." He finally focused on Jack and gestured at him with his beer mug, splattering his uniform with the frothy brew. "Hey! You're a Navy man. What's your name? Do you know Jack?" 

"Jack Reese," he replied in amusement, holding out his hand. 

Josh ignored it and continued to wave his beer around. "Yeah! That's the guy. I'm gonna kick his ass." 

"No, that's *my* name. Lt. Commander Jack Reese." 

He watched as comprehension slowly dawned on Josh's face. "Oh, God! No, no, I don't think I will kick your ass after all," he groaned as he slumped down into the waiting chair that Cliff hastily pulled out for him. 

"That's good to hear," Jack laughed. He turned to Cliff. "What about him? Is he dating Donna?" 

"No," he answered confidently. "And I have a sinking feeling she may be the reason he's getting drunk right now." 

"Lost her," Josh groaned. "Loved Freeride. Loved Cliff. Now she and Jack are in looooovveeee." He finally released his hold on the beer so that he could bury his head in his hands. Jack quietly moved it to the other side of the table. 

"Hey, buddy, I know we just met, but I'd hardly call five minutes of conversation `love'. She's cute and all --" 

Josh raised his head at that and protested, "Not cute! *Beautiful.* Luminescent. Ex- ex-" He gave up trying to say the difficult word. "Perfect," he ended with a dreamy smile. 

"Yes, we can all agree that Donna is beautiful," Cliff interjected. "I may have just met Jack - and he seems like a nice guy - but I find it hard to believe Donna's in love with him." 

Jack's head snapped up at this, but he was prevented from commenting further by Josh's continued ramblings.

"Is," he insisted. The dreamy look was rapidly replaced with one of despair. "Came skipping back to the office, talking `bout the Navy man she met. `Jack this...' and `Jack that...'," he mimicked in a high-  
pitched voice. "Loves him, not me. Lost all my chances," he moaned. 

"She doesn't love Jack," Cliff asserted.

"Excuse me, but how do you know? She could be in love with me," Jack interrupted, a look of indignation on his face. "I'm a lieutenant in the Navy, fairly attractive, gentlemanly..."

"I'm not saying that she *couldn't* love you," Cliff corrected. "I'm just saying that it's unlikely that she does. Besides, her affections are centered elsewhere," he added with a subtle nod at Josh, who had buried his head in his hands again and was mumbling to himself.

Jack seemed to understand. "Then why is he-"

"They can't. Or they won't. I'm not quite sure which. I learned all this *after* Donna and I were set up by a mutual friend, or else I may never have dated her to start with," he clarified.

"Got it," Jack said, clearly not interested in hearing more about Cliff's aborted relationship with Donna. "But then why-"

"Just so it's clear that I don't purposely prey on vulnerable young women," he rambled on, aware that the scotch he'd had earlier was clearly loosening his tongue. "If I had known she was in love with him, I never would have met with her that night."

Jack had heard enough. "All right! That's it," he declared as he slammed his hands against the tabletop. "If we're going to be discussing the unattainable Donna Moss, I'm going to need more beer." 

"Agreed," Cliff chimed in with a weary sigh. He signaled to the bartender. "Can we get another round here?" 

An hour later, they were all crowded around the jukebox in the back, swaying drunkenly and singing along with the songs. Every once in a while, one of them would forget a line and they'd all collapse into giggles. 

The bartender cast a wary eye towards them, then picked up the phone. "Ms. Moss? This is the bartender at Moe's Tavern in Springfield. I've got two guys in suits and another in uniform singing drunkenly to Ritchie Valens. When I asked if there was anyone I should call, they all named you. I hate to bother you so late at night, but can you possibly come pick them up? Yeah, one of them says his name is Josh." 


	2. Men Will be Men

Josh spotted her as soon as she walked in the door. She looked worried, her purse clutched to her chest, her eyes scanning the bar's dim interior. 

When she finally caught sight of him and saw that he was physically alright, her worried expression quickly changed to one of disappointment. She frowned and strode purposefully toward him, unwinding her plaid scarf as she approached. 

"Joshua." Her voice was stern, but she didn't look angry. In his drunken haze, Josh determined that maybe he wasn't in as much trouble as he feared. 

"Donna," he greeted her solemnly. He tried to remain serious, but he couldn't stop himself from indulging in some more drunken singing. "Oh, Don-na. Oh, Don-na." 

"Yes, Josh. We've determined that's my name." 

"Oh, right. Have you met my friends Cliff and Jack? Or is it Jack and Cliff?" he questioned with a small frown. Then his expression cleared again. "Doesn't matter. `Cause you know them both. They're my new buddies." 

She ignored his introductions. "Josh, you shouldn't ever have more than three beers," she scolded. "You've got a sensitive system and you know-"  

"I do *not* have a sensitive system," he proclaimed. 

"He does," Jack interjected from his place at the other side of the table. "He was drunk before we even joined him." 

Josh and Donna both glared at him then went back to their conversation. "Josh, why were you getting drunk by yourself?" 

"Not by m'self. With my buddies." He beamed at the other two men. They, however, looked anywhere but at Josh as Donna continued glaring at them. "We talked lots. We talked about Donnatella." 

Donna pulled her gaze away from him and looked to Cliff for an explanation. "What's going on here? Why is he drunk?"

Cliff shook his head. "Possibly because of all the beer he consumed?" When she glared at him again, he spread his hands before him. "I honestly don't know for sure. He was already drunk when I got here."

"Hey Donna! Look what I can do. I can balance a spoon on my nose," Josh interrupted her to show off his newfound talent.  

Ignoring him, she continued to question Cliff. "Why did you let him keep drinking then?" she demanded.

"I'm not his keeper. That's why he has you," Cliff told her quietly, a sad smile on his face. 

She frowned, suddenly realizing how much she had hurt him in the past year. She was about to tell him how sorry she was but was distracted by another outburst from Josh.

"Know what I found out t'night, Don-na-tell-a?" he slurred, unaware of the undercurrents around him.

She looked away from Cliff and focused on Josh. "What, Josh?"

"You don't love Cliff," he announced. 

She stared at him, aghast, finding it hard to form any sort of reply. Turning to Cliff, she rapidly tried to apologize. "Cliff -"

"Doesn't matter," he assured her. "I should have realized after that first date when you kept talking about your boss."

"I'm sorry," she told him sincerely, her heart breaking at the sadness on his face.

"I know." They shared a bittersweet smile before being interrupted by Josh once more.

"Don't love Jack either," Josh continued.

"Of course not! I only just met him. What would make you think I loved him?" 

"Hey!" Jack protested. For the second time that night, he had been reduced to nothing more than a convenient distraction.

"I'm sorry, Jack. It was nice of you to swap votes with me, but I hardly know you," she explained.

"You were all bouncy after election night. Figured it had to be `cause of Jack," Josh confessed, swinging his arm wide in Jack's direction. "But Jack cleared all that up." 

She looked at Jack questioningly. "Actually, it was Cliff that cleared it up, but it really doesn't matter. The point is that Josh finally realizes that you don't love either one of us."

"I'm tired, Donna," Josh whined, his head falling onto his pillowed arms. "Can we go home?"

She looked questioningly at the other two men. "The bartender said all three of you were drunk. But you two look fairly sober to me. Can you find your own ways home?"

Jack waved away her concern. "We'll be fine. I'll give Calley a ride home. No need to worry about us." He stood up, as did Cliff. Giving Donna a peck on the cheek, he wished her a goodnight before striding towards the door.

Cliff stood up also, then leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Take care of him."

"Are you coming, Calley?" Jack called.

"In a sec." Looking at Donna once more, he added, "Make sure he gets home ok. And take care of yourself, too." 

"I will. Thank you."

After the others had left, Donna helped Josh to his feet and bundled him into his jacket. With the aid of the bartender, she managed to get him out the door and into the cab she had kept waiting.  She slid into the back next to Josh and he promptly collapsed against her shoulder. She was about to shove him back over to his own side of the wide bench seat, when he snuggled into her and she found herself wrapping an arm around him instead.

"Tired," he complained. "And I don' feel so good either. Head hurts."

"That's because you drank too much beer," she teased, before asking him seriously, "Why did you get drunk tonight, Josh?"

"Thought I'd lost you. Couldn't stand to think about losing you for good."

"You won't lose me. Ever."

"Ever," he murmured happily as his eyes slipped closed. "Need you, Donna. Always."

She watched his chest begin to rise and fall in deep, slow breaths. "Oh, Josh, what am I going to do with you?" she asked as she ran her fingers through his hair. 

"Love me?" he mumbled as he curled closer and drifted off to sleep. 

"I already do," she whispered to his dozing form. "I already do." 


End file.
